jokes

Useless in a fight

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like
he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is
cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't
do that to you, he must have had something in his
hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and
a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."